Boku no Tomodachi - My Friends...

haha... my freshman year's over already... it's both a sad and happy thing... haha... i wish it lasted longer, but at the same time i'm gald i'm done with it... confusing..? nah... people know i work well with chaos and contradictions...

hmm... since i can't think of anything else to write, i'll make this post a tribute to my friends... haha... can't imagine living without them... so err... let's start off with my course blockies...

Block S is the best block ever..! the superblock, hahaha... i really feel bad not being able to spend time with them... sigh... it'll all change during the summer... hahaha... anyway, there's karenini and ralpo in the picture... hahah...

and here are some of my english blockies to the right... they're really cool... hahaha... while my course blockies taught me how to drink, they taught me style... hahaha... some of the people i'm closest to in Ateneo are either here or have super-close ties to this block...

thank you guys for the parodies and films... haha... way cool... hahah... to right is jean, pam and aileen... hahaha...

Here's keila, maica and karl nii-san... somehow, i managed to become close to a lot of comtech people... i started going out with some of them recently... haha... they're cool...

out of all my friends, they probably have the "cleanest" trips... hahaha... no smoking and drinking here boys... hahaha... and last, are the "special" people... wahahaha... there's rules, who's like a big bro or something close... he doesn't know what i really think about him... and nikko-san... the best person ever... hahaha... i really wish that people would know how much i appreciate them being my friends... hahaha... i'm tired... hahaha... good night people...

rules-san and nikko-san... hahaha... i love everyone... hahaha... sorry for the pics btw, i'm toying around with my cam...

hell week version 2.0

Okay, before anything, let me tell you that:

1. It's double hellweek, and that anything I say probably has it's roots and/or is influenced by my current mental state of near insanity...
2. This is my first time to try include pictures in my blog, so I'm asking you guys for tips and comments on how to better use them on my blog...
3. This is the sheep costume I wore for half a schoolday for my En12 class. I know I look stupid and weird, but hey, it's like a once in a lifetime chance to goof off and get out of my usual emo self...

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Something that bothers me is that sometimes, people from other schools tend to belittle what we call in Ateneo "hellweek"... people seem to think it's just something like the school cramming everything into those two weeks... well, they are right about that part... the thing they don't get though, is that it's not the projects, groupworks, papers nor the tests... the thing that drives Ateneans (most of them at least) insane is the efficiency, coordination and planning you need to make it to the deadline... it holds true to everything, especially groupworks and study times... just take my botany groupwork for example... we planned it for months, went to baguio to get it done, and yet we still needed to cram (a bit) on the 2 days before the presentation and on the same days our Ma18/20 and Bi8 tests were held... nasty... we did make it though, thanks to careful planning and efficient work...

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hey, you know that guy wearing white..? he's the reason i'm taking hellweek on pretty well... (i hate going near mushy so don't complain)
seriously, this guy has made me really happy again... so if you ever see me smiling around for no apparent reason at all, thank this guy... wahahaha... anyway, I wish luck to all those experiencing the undead-turning effects of hellweek... may we all survive and enjoy the summer...

Baguio and Dagupan...

This week was both heaven and hell... haha... i can't believe that travelling was this much fun...

Baguio: shit... the flower festival was so cool... what's more cool is that we got to abuse our connections and got top seat views of the Panagbenga and got to interview the founder of the flower festival... great, huh..? Another great thing is that i got to spend a lot of time with my friends Rules, Jic, Keila and Clara... we're never gonna forget this weekend... we even played Forbidden Questions... haha... that really spiced everything up... We all now have trash to talk about... i really apologize to the super innocent people whose minds were violated during this episode... nyahahaha....

Dagupan: one of the coolest things to ever happen to me... we left rules in baguio; it was really a pain to leave him there... while the road travel was soo annoyingly long, the dinner and the time spent at jic-san's house was real worth it... we played cards, chatted and everything... so cool... and after the girls left, we had some fun... tonikaku... everything just went well... we left dagupan at three am... i wish i had more trips like this... cool cool cool...

on other things: Nikko-san... you know it... nyahahah...

and so it seems...

i hate this world... why is it that no matter how many good things i do, no matter how much i try to set things right, it never works out... all this world ever does is to get my hopes up only to sent them crashing down later...

i just wish it would end... i'm tired... it's just too much...

quoting my drunk self:

"you say I'm your friend... but if you can't accept me wholly as I am, then I'd rather be nothing to you... Friendship doesn't work with halves..."

kuso... i don't know who to hate more: myself, my so-caled friends, or the world... there's only so much a person can take... it was way better when I wasn't showing my happy face to the world... so, upon the world's request (courtesy of so-called friends), I'll go back to the normal me... it'll be better I tell you... no more plastic faces and what not... no more dealing with insensitive people... haha... good luck everyone...

THE sheep of THE Ateneo...

Today was a very weird day... I dunno why... Probably because I was wearing a full-body sheep costume... hehe... alright... I know it's stupid and outrageous, but the hell, the fun and experience was worth it... It's not everyday that I get to do such senseless and fun things... haha...

I should really thank (kuya) Danvic for letting me borrow the costume... haha... i know it was a devil's pact promising not to call him kuya anymore, but i don;t think I can keep the promise though... After all, I'm very impulsive and weird...

Haha... oh well, it's been a fun week... Arnis sparring is gonna start soon... The strike and block practices are fun (for me, at least) and are pretty much mindless and effortless whacking for me... haha... shame that the english 12 paper's gonna ruin next week when all the good parts come...

haha... everything that's been hapening this week has been very nice, specially love life-wise... haha... i hope these good times will last a bit longer... i rarely get a break... oh well, oyasumi...

Two hearts down... One more lonely person in the world...

When I was a child, I used to think that loneliness would be a feeling alien to me when i grew up... I guess I was wrong...

I guess I'm really a big disappointment... I know I've been doing a lot of great stuff for other people and everything, but how come it is that person I love the most, taisetsuna tomodachi, that finally broke this wall of a heart..?

My first and only real kiss... I can still remember it, and it makes me even sadder... I really expected that person to appreciate me and accept me as who I am... I know he does, but it's cruel that i can no longer feel the love and warmth of acceptance... Something's missing and if i don't find out what it is, I'm gonna break soon... boku no kokoro itai...

They say that at times like this, you have your friends to help you... It's kind of weird to think that the help and understanding came not from my "friends" but from people i didn't expect it from... There's my english block barkada, my blockies and other friends... Most of them are real understanding, but there are few who I can talk to about my feelings... One of them probably would try to listen, but I know he feels uncomfortable with it... it's hard, but finding someone who cares is sometimes the only way you'd feel nice again...

I don't know what to do... I just want to go back to those times where there was nothign wrong with me... when i had no reason to be insecure, and to be disliked by other people... I just can't think of a reason why such things are happening to me...

right now, i'm not lonely but angry... for my so called "friends", i'm going to wait for your honest reply... namaiki na kimi no sunao ni henji... not one of words but of thought... i just want to get out of this pathetic state I'm in and I need your help...

Vascular Bundle..?

I've been going through rough times recently... I've been feeling worse and worse and it's been showing... People might think that I'm still happy and fine, but somehow, my insecurities and loneliness have been creeping up on me... I kept them away for so long... I don't know why I'm feeling this way again...

Enough about that... I can't keep on being miserable... it is my job to help people fulfill their dreams even though I myself have lost my own... haha... I'll just keep you guys updated on what I'm up to nowadays when I feel a little bit better...

Merry Christmas ato Akemashite!!!

Unsurprsingly, i managed to break my promise of posting regularly... I really can't do anything about it since I was so busy during the holidays... Anyway, everything has been exciting and happy with the whole clan home... There were the endless 10+ hour sprees of Counter-Strike Source and Starcraft, barhopping and house parties... Cool, eh..?

I think I'm also getting beter with Nihongo... (I know no one cares) It's real fun and when you get the hang of it, you'll find yourself free from anime subtitles and capable of pacyfing your murdurous 10 year old cousins... hehehe...

Other than the family stuff, nothing much has happened... I missed my friends of course... But I'm in the mood to be in a sadistic game... I have stuff in store for them... hehehe... It's payback time...

Well, I guess that's all for now... if you have the time, I advise you to play COunter-Strike Source with a good number of people... It's fun... And for the classic game veterans out there, Starcraft is the game of course... I got myself new strategies which made it fun again... (i still lost though... oneechan is real good i tell you...) hehe... god bless... ^^_

been lost in time for a long time..?

it's been quite a while since i've visited this blog... i've been a little busy lately and was overwhelmed with both school and personal stuff... well, no use talking about that now...

for those who care, this are the things that i've been up to recently:

1. badminton training is really taking up most of my weekends now... i'm training under this guy who's really good... i think he helped coach AdMU and NU teams last summer and i'm glad that i'm learning a lot... well, i'm having fun so the effort is worth it... i hope to get into a tournament soon...

2. i'm gonna start violin lessons soon... i know i some people think it's gay, but i like the idea... i know i'm kind of too old to start studying but i hope my piano background will help me here... wish me luck guys...

3. arnis is fun too... while other people complain a lot about arm, wrist and palm pains, i really don't mind... the badminton training is paying of here too... hehehe... I have yet to master the wrist movements and techniques which i think is gonna take some time... i'm really having a hard time doing measured and focused things with my left arm... oh well...

4. btw, i have this friend who keeps on saying that i'm way hostile... although i'm telling him that it's kind of pissing me off, i really find it funny... you know why..? it's because i can't think of a single reason to be mad or hostile towards him... dunno... i'll let this "situation" play out...

well, i suppose that's it... hehehe... i'll be posting song reviews just like I promised... soon...

Never be the Same Again...

Okay... I first heard this song during the Rev-Up Metrocon...
It's really nice; it probably fits into the pop-rock genre...
I like it because it's kind of mellow but it's the kind of
worship song that's part of the build up leading to the
climax... It's really good... People kept on singing this
until dawn...

I really don't know how to make good reviews yet so please
bear with me... Hehehehe... I'll get better soon... ^^_
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NEVER BE THE SAME

By: Renee Geronimo & Butch Baria

Now I wake, now I see

Lord your time is now

I can’t ignore, the way you speak

The calling’s clear and loud

Make my life mean something

Something worth remembering

Something worth living and dying for

Chorus:

I fight for your life, I long for your peace

In a world so silent my praise to you will never cease

I raise my hand and stake this claim

That this world will know your name

And life, will never be the same

From sea to sea, from dawn to dusk

The battle rages on

With every step, and every move

We’re crying kingdom come

You are all I want now

More than I ever have before

You are worth living and dying for

Bridge:

Lord I am afraid

Of the choices I have to make

But when I look into your eyes

I am reminded why