Arnis Nationals: Philippine Olympic Festival

well, this was my first national competition... and well, i guess it was okay...

it was really fun, especially since i got to meet a lot of cool people, and spend the day with my teammates... it was fun, tiring and... uhmm.... educational..? haha...

lemme see... my first fight was against the davao coach... i don't know if i did good or maybe it was that he didn't do good... i dunno... haha... then my second fight was with the zamboanga dude... (was he their coach or what..?) he was good... he was able to dodge my attacks and well, hit me harder and faster than i could even hope to do... i saw the finals fight, and he lost... and he even fought so many times better their... i dunno if i stood a chance...

seriously though, i kind of feel disappointed... while i did get bronze, i don't feel so good about it... i don't really know... i think it's either i feel i don't deserve it or i was just expecting myself to do better... just something like what gene's stat said: second place means first loser... haha... or maybe i'm just expecting too much...

still, i'm gonna do better... next year, i'll be aiming for the top... i dun care where i fall... haha... train train train!!!

Why is it always like this..?

Actually, i don't really get what's wrong with me nowadays...
I have no reason to be sad (probably except failing calculus) and yet, i feel really really tired...
Not like my usual mentally, emotionally and physically tired state...
More of... tired of living...
I know it sounds really ungrateful, emo, gay and stupid... and i actually don't like myself thinking this way... (that's why i don't get it lol)

so.... i try to cheer myself up... and i'm really grateful that there are people who actually do that...
my blockmates, teammates and other friends... haha...
sometimes, i really do want to skin most of them alive... but then, life would be really boring... haha...

currently, my mind is set on the arnis nationals... i hope that i'll get over this bout of weakness and weirdness by competition time... i really want to give my best... since i won't be showing up as much at training this semester...

sigh... haha... fun sembreak... fun death... haha... i dunno what to say...but i think i'll stay alive for a long time more... ^^