jokes?

taken from arkhe... ^^_

nakatutuwa yung iba...

mga banat:

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Binata: ale, liligawan ko po ang anak nyo
Ale: wag muna, nag-aaral pa siya
Binata: Sige po kapag uwian na lang nila!!! :)

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Boy to his crush

Boy: alam mo ba hindi tayo tao hindi rin tayo hayop??
Girl: huh?? eh ano tayo??
Boy: BAGAY tayo...

Naks hahahaha....

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Pedro: ang galing ng lolo ko hindi nag-uulam tuwing almusal!!!
Juan: ano ba yang lolo mo!!! lolo ko gatas lang ang almusal!!!
Totoy: ano ba yang mga lolo nyo?? mga patay gutom!!! lolo ko hinde na nagaalmusal
Pedro at juan: bakit?? sino ba yung lolo mo??
Totoy: ang lolo ko ay si eagleman!!! hindi nagbrebreakfast si eagleman!!!

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NBI Clearance Applicant: Sir available na ba clearance ko??

NBI: Followup mo na lang after 5 days may kapangalan ka kasi eh

Applicant: Huh?? sino?? ano pangalan???

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A Mom called his son...

Mom: Pauwi ka na ba?? Asan ka na???
Son: andito po ako sa hospital...
His Mom cried: Ano nangyari sa yo????
Son: Nay, Nurse kaya ako!! sabog ka ba???

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Its better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life....

---rules sa patintero

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May mga tanong at sgot na hindi magkatugma pero tinatanggap natin ang sagot.
Gaya nito:

Tanong: asan ang nana mo?
Sagot: bakit ho??

Tanong: anong gagawin natin???
Sagot: ikaw??

Tanong: love mo ba ako???
Sagot: ang corny mo!!!

Tanong: asan ka??
Sagot: papunta na!!!

Tanong: Kumain ka na??
Sagot: busog pa ako eh!!!

Tanong: asan na yung wallet ko??
Sagot: nahulog mo lang yun!!!

Tanong: anong trabaho ng nanay mo?
Sagot: sa bahay lang.

Eto hindi tanong:

Pare 1: Ganda ng polo mo ah
Pare 2: A eto? Bigay lang ito!!!

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Piolo: i just need five things to live....

Some friends...

Some food...

Some work...

Some love....

and...

Some...

some Milby....

4ever!!!

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Isang araw, matagal na nakatitig si piglet kay pooh...

Pooh: bakit ka ba ganyan tumitig sa akin??
Piglet: ang taba mo loko, dapat ikaw si piglet eh...

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Sa tindahan

bata: ate, may load po kayo??
tindera: oo meron..
bata: pa-txt nga po :)

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when your lips are silent
and your eyes are closed
and your ears are deaf
it only means one thing....

may discount ka sa jeep

disabled ka friend!!!!
yabang!!! may discount siya!!!

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another survey... fun i guess...

i took it from valentine out of sheer boredom... ^^_ it's actually nice too. random-ish questions.

1. Do you notice when someone is staring at you from across the room?
>> sort of? people have that weird feeling, right?

2. Do you smile at strangers?
>> when i try to talk to them i guess.

3. What kind of clothes do you buy?
>> i seldom go out to but clothes. i hate it. i usually end up with green, brown, or white things though.

4. How many bowls of cereal do you eat in the morning?:
>> depends if there are other dishes on the table.

5. How often do you clean your room?:
>> i don't (recently). that's why it's messy. probably once a month at most i guess.

6. How many days do you normally miss during a school year?
>> i usually don't. i spend most of my time in school.

7. Do you live up north or down south?:
>> i dunno where pasig is relative to the others.

8. Have you ever been to China?:
>> not yet. scheduled trip before the end of may though.

9. Ever played the drums on a steering wheel?
>> i don't think so.

10. Can you roll your tongue?
>> yeah. not in the ultra weird ways though.

11. Were you named after anyone?:
>> my dad, William.

12. Do you own a GPS?:
>> One built in dad's car and the other one i left somewhere else.

13. Do you like egging houses?
>> egging?

14. What kind of cigarettes do you smoke?:
>> whatever people give me.

15. Are you a self-mutilator?
>> i don't think so. i scratch my skin until it bleeds sometimes.

16. Do you find yourself crushing on someone currently?
>> uh yeah.

17. When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
>> try to keep that friend, or at least maintain a sort of connection. friends, whether you hate them or love them, are a part of your life.

18. Would life be the same without alcohol?
>> no. ^^_

19. Have you had the best night of your life?
>> i don't know yet. that opinion changes every time.

20. Do you know someone who likes you?
>> i don't think so.

21. Do you still have feelings for anyone from your past?
>> yeah. a bit.

22. Do you have a lot of guy friends?
>> of course i do.

23. When was the last time you did something illegal?
>> what's illegal for you?

24. When was the last time you had Jamba
>> what's a jamba?

25. Did you date anyone this past summer?
>> last summer? yes. this summer? this summer really sucks in that aspect.

26. What color shirt were you wearing when your last kiss took place?
>> green, probably. or nothing.

27. What does your last text message in your inbox say?
>> "I'll be online 9pm - 11pm tnyt". <- this.

28. Do you wear the seatbelt in the car?
>> habit. i don't even notice putting it on.

29. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else?
>> yeah. because of the hair.

30.Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your bf/gf?
>> uh sure why not?

31. Is there anyone you hate?
>> not really. just pretend hate.

32. Are you single?
>> unfortunately, yes. school sucks eh.

33. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
>> sober.

34. If somebody hurts you, do you give them a way back in, or blacklist them forever?
>> i tend to forget things really fast.

35. Are you easy to lie to, or do you have a hard time believing people?:
>> depends on who you are to me and how much i trust you. most of the time, i'm just my usual paranoid self.

36. Is there one person who can make you feel better no matter what?
>> yeah, but makes me feel really bad sometimes too.

much fun.

ian told me to take this. format is:

10 things you want to say to 10 unnamed people,

9 things about your self,

8 ways to win your heart,

7 things that cross your mind a lot,

6 stupid things you want to happen before you die,

5 turn ons,

4 turn offs,

3 smilies that describe your life,

2 things you wish you never did, and

1 confession.

here we go:

1. You owe me. Big time. I haven't showed up in a long time, but I know you understand. Sorry.

2. I know I've broken my promises and now I can't even make up for them since I have to go away. Don't worry, i'll be back. Just keep the CD i gave you safe and sound. ^^_

3. Visiting my place in the morning was a surprise, but I'm thankful for it. Thanks for the reminders as well. I guess I owe you a lot, especially after the talk at church.

4. I just want you to drop dead. No, not the agonizing death I wanted you to have at first, i can't take that. Just die. ^^_

5. Thanks for talking to me all the time. Hehe, More webcomics and videojug, i guess?

6. Hello you random spawn of time! Joke. Well, as much as i'd like to talk to you about things, you're barely around. Thanks anyway. I know i can get annoying sometimes so yeah.

7. Thanks for being the one who actually seemed to care when I was down way back. It really meant a lot.

8. You also have to die. You need a long, agonizing death though. I'll see you wherever you end up.

9. Dude! Thanks! You're like my best friend and all. We've been through things, both bad and good. I'm so going to miss you. Don't worry though, i shall still haunt your life.

10. Another person i can talk to, although I really can't relate to you a lot of times. Don't get me wrong, i'm just really not into those things that's all. Hehe.

Nine things about yourself:

1. I have a lot of names: Kevin, William, Eski, Nikhe, Neknek and the likes.

2. I hate insects.

3. I panic real bad when my feet don't touch anything in places like pools or the like.

4. I just screwed my life over.

5. and I'm trying to fix it.

6. I like green and its darker shades.

7. I'm weird i guess.

8. There are times when I get really depressed then happy again.

9. I like sheperd's pie and green iced tea. ^^_


Eight ways to win your heart:

1. Just be nice.

2. Be serious.

3. Not so serious so you'll still be fun.

4. Be sure to be able to beat me up. Or else.

5. Play nice.

6. Have some direction in your life. I'm trying to establish mine.

7. Be open minded in a lot of things.

8. Love weird things.


Seven things that cross your mind a lot:

1. Friends.

2. School and work.

3. Certain someones.

4. Arnis.

5. Starcraft.

6. Warcraft.

7. Music.


Six little stupid things you want to happen to you before you die:

1. Enjoy being with someone.

2. Make them both suffer.

3. See this country prosper.

4. Do something that'll make a lot of people happy.

5. Leave a mark on the world.

6. Do something so I won't have to die.

Five turn offs:

1. Being too serious with small things.

2. Narrow mindedness.

3. Not having any focus.

4. Not caring for other people or this world.

5. Being weirder than i am.

Four turn ons:

1. Really nice.

2. Serious but not too much. Just right.

3. Computer gamer.

4. Sporty person i guess.

Three smilies that describe your life:
1. ^^_

2. \:D/

3. =D


Two things you wish you never did:
1. Tell him.

2. Let go of the other one..

a fun survey taken from kim.

TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A: my fight with jed during the NCR regionals.

Q. How many televisions you have in your house?
A: five... no one uses them though.

BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A: righty.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A: uhuh.

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A. what counts as heavy?

Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
A: by alcohol yes.

BULLSHITOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A: yeah. it's amazing what deadlines can do.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A: uh, i dunno. i like my name already.

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A: green?

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
A: yeah.

DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A: why not? it's a hundred bucks.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A: no. how about i'll cut someone else's off?

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A: nope.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A: ahahaha. no.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A: that one's going to be okay.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A: give me a real reason to do so.

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: ballpen and some coins.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: i don't even know what that is.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: second floor hardwood, first floor carpet and marble.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: stand.

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A: uh, two?

LASTOLOGY

Q: Last person who texted you?
A: jic.

Q: Last person u called?
A: jon.

Q: Person you hugged?
A: one of my admu friends.

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 16

Q: Season?
A: more of breezy, cloudy non-wet days.

Q: Color?
A: green.

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: a lot.

Q: Mood?
A: strangly calm and relaxed.

Q: Listening to?
A: holly by all time low.

Q: Watching?
A: nothing. i'm surfing.

Q: Worrying about?
A: should i really go to Ateneo de Naga or should i just work?

Q: Wearing?
A: shorts.

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: cr.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: get things going.

Q: Do you smile often?
A: nowadays? not much.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: a lot of people say i'm masungit or something.

it's been five years now...

remember this?::

I've been trying to reach you, because I've got something to say...

but you were talking about just nothing at all, and you were slipping away...

we were crying together, it was a long time ago...

before you walked out the door, and left me this way...

i was hoping you'd hear what i wanted to say...

----- that wasn't even my idea.

stolen from mistress...

1. What is the status of the
last person you texted?
-- taken.

2. What is wrong with you right now?
-- uh, i screwed my life up. fixing it ain't that easy.

3. What happened at 1:00 am today?
-- talking to mistress and gene.

4. When did you last cry?
-- can't remember.

5. why?
-- some stupid guy i guess.

6. What do you want in your life
right now?
-- fix it.

7. Are you happy?
-- in a weird way.

8. What's your perfume?
-- bench sport.

9. Last drink of liquor?
-- uh, last week, tequila.

10. What’s your favorite thing to
have on your bed?
-- the green frog/turtle dinosaur.

11. What do you wear to bed?
-- ...hehehe

12. Do you tend to make relationships
complicated?
-- more like distant.

13. How do you feel about the person
you got this survey from?
-- uh, happy happy.

14. Are you friends with all of your
ex crushes?
-- crushes? no.

15. Whose house did you go to last
night?
-- no one's. >_>

16. What about the night before that?
-- can't remember.

17. Do you like anyone right now?
-- of course i do.

18. Are you bored?
-- not really. actually the opposite.

19. What is the last movie you
watched?
-- i watched kingdom of heaven again last night.

20. What are you excited about?
-- fixing my life.

21. Who was last to touch your butt?
-- uh, can't remember. haha.

22. When you sleep do you dream about
heroin addicts?
-- uh, no. why would i?

23. What’s on your mind right now?
-- which school to pick.

24. Who was the last person to make
you cry?
-- some guy.

25. Name someone whose name starts
with the letter \"R.\"
-- roffles.

26. Do you care what others think
about you?
-- right now? not that much.

27. Do you trust people easily?
-- yes, sadly.

28. Do you think you'll be
married in 10 years?
-- aha. no way.

29. Would you kiss the last person
you kissed?
-- uh, why not?

30. What do you look forward to in
the next 3 months?
-- japan and vietnam trips.

31. Who was the last person you
called?
-- ralph.

32. Who was the last missed call?
-- some agent woman.

33. What's your ring tone?
-- perpetually silent.

34. Do you plan on moving out within
the next year?
-- i can't yet.

35. What were you doing at 5pm last
Friday?
-- with team. training i think.

okay.

it's 4:42 and i still can't sleep... thanks to those who keep me company... best time of the day...

just too much...

i know i can't complain and i don't have the right to say anything about it...

but what they want is just too much...

they're doing everything to take my mind off current matters but they want to take it away from me...

i'm grateful...

i'd rather they cut my arms off...

i hate this...

random thing 2 (no, not a comic strip)

got this from mistress... it's from facebook i think... there's a link at the bottom. (link not working. just look for it in facebook.)

Longstaff

The Longstaff is perfect for people like you who only react upon other's attacks. This is not really effective as an offensive weapon, but is really effective in parrying various attacks and disrupting stances because of its size. Your adaptive personality will work best with the Longstaff because its usage will vary greatly depending on your opponents' weapon.

random thing.

http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=10

last box at the bottom...