YFC Chronicles I: The 5th Metrocon- Rev Up..!

Rev Up!: The 5th Youth For Christ Metrocon was so cool!!! I'm not exaggerating if I say that it beats the Subic International Leaders Conference last year..! The competitions, the talks and the unending worship gave me a piece of heaven here on earth..! It's been so long since I've last felt the high of worship...

I know I've been on running on a dark road recently... but during the conference He just spoke to me... too clearly for me to ignore...

During the conference I asked Him to turn me back to who I was before... You know what he said..? NO... He said no, I can't turn you into who you were before, but I can help make a new you...

I was already on the verge of tears during the second talk... so when I heard that very phrase during the Praisefest, I just started crying on the spot... I know it sounds gay to some but still, I'd rather be called gay than keep my feelings from God...

basta... I feel so happy, so good, so empowered... that's the high that possessed me during the past years... something that I lost when I kept on trying to sever my connection with Him recently... well, what's done is done, and what matters now is what I do...

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I have an idea... Every week I'm gonna post a review of one worship song we use in YFC... just for fun... plus, it might inspire someone... ^^_

well, God Bless guys..!

Lebensunwertes Leben...

That's exactly how i feel right now... Life unworthy of life... I'm such an idiot... Why am I like this..? I don't get it... I wanna live another life... I wish that I'm not who I am now... You know why...? It's because I'm such a pathetic person, friend and human being... (yes, being a person and a human being are two different things...)

Yeah, yeah, yeah... People I know would say that I'm so emo... You don't even get what I'm feeling, it's not funny anymore... Fine, call it whatever you want... It's not as if I even care anymore... You guys are lucky... You get most of the good things that really matter...

It really pains me that I am be this stupid... The first semester of my college life just ended... Instead of happy goodbyes and hopes for a good next sem, I get to freaking insult my friend and everything ends with a sad parting... See that..? If i could have just shut up everything would've been okay... I know what to call it... One big fucking screw up...

It really, really sucks... I care for my friends a lot... They're very important to me... But then why do I keep on hurting and annoying them..?

I dunno why I even have friends... You know what..? A useless, freaky and ugly faggot like me doesn't deserve anything... Do me some good and don't be nice 'cause I'll just ruin your life... Got that..?

Of hell week and stereotyping...

I might get upset over the most trivial things but one thing that really gets me mad is a person who imposes his stereotypes on other people... I know that everyone is guilty of having stereotypes; I also have my own... But i really really hate it when someone imposes theirs on you... It doesn't matter if it's good or bad/ popular or not... It's because i feel smothered...

People who impose stereotypes usually haven't felt what it feels like to be labeled or "classified"... It's usually because they go with the popular culture of the day... It's not a nice feeling... It destroys your sense of freedom and self-expression... While it doesn't sound that bad, let me tell you, IT IS... I dunno, but of all things, this really pisses me off...

I hate it when people say that guys should be like this macho-thinking and nothing else... That these people are like this and they're bad... And worst of all..? People who think that anything/anyone that doesn't go with their "flow" and thinking are INFERIOR to them...

I'm sure not all of them mean it... after all, it's in their subconscious, just molded by their environment... (although sometimes, it borders on insensitivity and becomes annoying...) but the thing is, some give a defiant "superior" downward look on others... i hate narrow-mindedness...

Well... sorry for the rant... I know I'm guilty of some of the things I said but I'm just pissed off...

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Man... I'm never going to cram again...

When I hear the upperclassmen talk about "Hell Week" i can always hear that subtle mix of despair and pride... I really didn't get it before...

But as with all the bad things in the world, you have to experience it first hand to understand it... While it wasn't as bad as the upperclassmen were talking about, it was still bad... It's not really the workload that'll surprise you but it's that psychological weight that suddenly descends upon the school...

I dunno... It's hard to define but there seems to be a heavy atmosphere at school... It's like people are very relaxed even though they have tons of work to finish... People are also seem to move much more slowly... It's as if everyone is waiting for sign of impending doom...

Well... That's hell week for ya... ^^_

One great weekend...

Just for this weekend, I've decided to be happy...

Let's see... there's Futsal, the storm/brownout tragedy, and P.E. Finals...

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For those of you you who don't know what Futsal is, it is the official indoor football sanctioned by FIFA. It focuses more on techniques and agility rather than speed and endurance... It also has slightly different rules and is more action-packed and fast paced...

I really love Futsal... It serves as my stress reliever after Ma11 and is one of my favorite sports together with rifling... While Football (and Futsal) aren't that popular here in the Philippines, our group always ends up being the noisiest bunch in the covered courts... Too bad first sem is ending and I have to get a new P.E class.... I think I'll be joining a Futsal club though... ^_^

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And then there's the P.E. Finals... While the Finals are tiring, it's probably one of the more fun parts of the semester... It's so cool having the different P.E. classes having tournaments and exhibitions... Our Futsal tournament was great too... We were probably so noisy that people were thinking how such hooligans got into the school... heheh... So much fun...

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The horrible power outage... it really sucks... I can't imagine my life without my gadgets and computers... Now that I've been given a glimpse of hell, I promise I'll be good... heheh... It's really bad though... I hope it never happens again...

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I know this post is quite a mess but please bear with it... I'm so sleepy but this post can't wait 'cause I'll be a bit busier soon... See you guys..!