Friendship woes...

Let's start with something funny I got from Karen:

"To realize the value of one year, ask a student who failed a grade. To realize the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of one week, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of one hour, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of one minute, ask a person who just missed the train. To realize the value of one second, ask UST (University of Santo Tomas) coach Pido Harencio and the UST Tigers who lost a game to ADMU(Ateneo de Manila University). Treasure every moment!"

Anyway...

I love my friends... They add flavor to my day and they always make me happy... They're God's gifts to me...

But you know, it's just sad that even though I always try to be the best friend I can be, I always end up disappointing my friends... I feel that I don't even deserve to be their friend... I don't deserve any friends...

I think I should just shut up and be a loner... That's better than getting someone get angry because I did/said something wrong... (I always manage to do that...) It's better than making someone feel awful or sad...

I'm okay with the idea of being alone but I really hate it when people try to be compassionate or friendly to me when I try to keep away... It sucks... It just makes me feel more miserable... It's not that their bad or anything; It's just that i know I'm going to do or say something bad that'll just hurt or annoy someone sooner or later...

I want to be a better friend to my friends... Boku no taisetsu na negai wa boku ga yasashii tomodachi... I'll just have to do my best...

And after everything I've said here, I just hope that on that day, I'll have the courage to take the bullet for that someone to make up for my worthlessness to the world and my friends...